At the earliest stages of our lives, we are taught that if we hurt someone or offend them we should say, “I’m sorry.” Saying sorry is a form of an apology, but also the acknowledgement that we have wronged or hurt someone. We were taught this, even if we truly didn’t understand why we were apologizing or whether or not we meant it! As we grow older you would think this gets easier to do but it actually becomes more complex, especially when we never receive the apology that we believe that we deserve. I’m going to be brutally honest and say, if you are waiting for someone to apologize to you then chances are you’re stuck, and will be until you realize they’re not going to apologize!
Unfortunately the person or people you’re expecting this from may not even realize they’ve hurt you, or may not even care! These are hard truths but coming to terms with these will help you move on from the thought of what you think you deserve. I’ll use myself as an example, although it has been a few years since my ex husband and I separated, I’m still dealing with disrespect in different aspects. While it isn’t blatant, the disrespect is definitely there. Am I tired of it? Do I want to get disrespectful? Yes and yes, but what good would that do? I often hear, I don’t know how you do it, well let me tell you how.
For me it wasn’t easy. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of guidance but here’s what I had to realize:
- Hurt people often hurt people and I can’t be responsible for anyone else’s actions. I can only be responsible for my own and how I choose to respond (if I choose to at all).
- Not everyone has developed the mental or emotional capacity to know or own up to when they’ve wronged or offended someone. This takes growth that for many will take years to develop.
- We can not measure our happiness, peace or fulfillment by an apology. Waiting on one will leave you stuck!
- While getting that heartfelt apology may be great, what exactly would getting it change? Closure comes from within not a simple apology. Let that sink in for a bit!
Renee_theblogger_: While getting the apology you think you deserve may give you a temporary feeling of relief, your healing and the feelings you’re harboring is on you! You may never get the apology you want but use the situation as a lesson and move on. Let it go and make room for your blessings.
