How do we end up breaking our own hearts?

Vector Realistic Paper Textured Torn Heart - Miscellaneous Vectors

On the outside looking in many are often judged or looked down upon because of the choices they make in a relationship, specifically staying in a relationship that has become one-sided, and no longer provides any form of fulfillment. I would be lying if I said I’ve never been in this predicament. Not only have I been the one to stay in a relationship that was breaking me, but I’ve also been the one to judge others for staying when their heart wasn’t in it! There can be many reasons why people stay in relationships they no longer want or that aren’t right for them!

Through discussions with friends and from personal experience I’ve listed below my top 6 reasons why people stay longer than they should: 

  1. First and foremost, people have a fear of the unknown and what their life would be like without that person, especially if it’s been a long lasting relationship. 
  2. If kids are involved, partners often think staying together is what’s best for the kids! Wrong, kids need to see their parents happy and being loved properly!
  3. Some think about how long they’ve been with the person, and start to believe they’ve wasted their best years so there’s no way they will love again. They start to believe they will eventually end up alone. 
  4. This one is a major one; people become so consumed with how the other person may react, think or feel so they stay longer, ignoring their own unhappiness.
  5. Another key factor; going against gut instincts and lack of trust in oneself about making the best decision! 
  6. While this shouldn’t be a reason, in many situations it is. People get so caught up with others’ opinions that they stay longer than they want to because of a fear of being judged by friends or family members. 

Whether staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the unknown, fear of being alone, or being judged by others the end result is often not pleasant.  As creatures of habit people become so caught up the familiarity of the relationship that they stay stuck for years. They get so consumed with not wanting to break their partner’s heart that they end up breaking their own.  We often think staying to deal with the “devil we know” is the best solution so we either fight and fight and fight to fix what’s broken, or ignore the issues altogether and eventually block our own happiness!  This leaves us  feeling miserable and resenting one another.  

Renee_theblogger_: While walking away from a relationship is never easy, especially one with someone you love and care about, it’s sometimes necessary. Yes, it will hurt to let go but staying will ultimately hurt more. Trust the process and trust yourself. If staying is hurting you, let it go!

Published by Renee

Who can really capture who they are in a brief summary? I'm a mother, an educator and a woman that's breaking generational curses. Those who know me would say I'm honest, genuine, and a little bit of an introvert. I'm big on integrity, so I hold true to the importance of being yourself and being straightforward. As I've matured as a woman, I've learned that many of the obstacles I faced stripped me of my voice and for so many years I was held hostage to my past. I'm currently walking into this next chapter of my life no longer afraid to speak my truth and share what healing has done for me. A wise woman once told me that all that I went through was my destiny and most importantly to help others, she said, "baby it's not about you." I didn't understand it at the time, but I've accepted the challenge of going from the wounded to the healer.

2 thoughts on “How do we end up breaking our own hearts?

  1. Here’s my opinion;
    I agree that most people stay in relationships because of the kids. It’s everyone’s dream to have a family that includes both mother and family. No one wants to be a single parent so they’ll stay in a relationship no matter how much it hurts just so their kids are happy but truth be told these kids are smart. They can detect when you are not happy in a relationship, they can read into your body language. Then it takes an effect on them psychologically. I also agree that people stay together because of what others might say about them. They are afraid to be talked about but whether you stay or not people are going to have an opinion!!

    Liked by 1 person

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